A record 94,199 spectators turned up to the MCG on Boxing Day and none will forget what they witnessed. An extraordinary 20 wickets fell on a pitch offering lavish movement and it left Cricket Australia fearing a second multimillion-dollar loss in this Ashes series.
The first of these came in Perth, when a two-day bunfight triggered mass refunds and had visiting fans scrambling to book sightseeing trips. This fourth Test always had the ingredients for a repeat, not just a surface with 10mm of grass but also a touring side in England who, having lost the Ashes and with criticism flying, looked broken before the coin even went up.
It actually landed in their favour here, Ben Stokes calling correctly, inserting his opponents without hesitation, and watching Josh Tongue skittle Australia for 152 all out before tea. Tongue was full value for his figures of five for 45, with his natural angle in, fuller length, and wobble seam asking more questions than one of the University Challenge Christmas specials.
But for all the echoes of England’s famous Boxing Day performance here in 2010, there was also a nagging sense that, this time, it was signposting an ordeal for the batters. That ordeal ultimately came to pass in a crazed final session when England fell to 16 for four inside eight overs and, courtesy of Michael Neser’s four for 30, ended up 110 all out in 29.5.
All that was left was for Scott Boland to see out six balls before stumps as an auxiliary opener. Fresh from claiming three for 30, Boland just about survived, prompting a roar from his fellow Victorians as he squirted the last ball of this absurd day for four. Australia closed on four without loss in their second innings, a lead of 46 runs, and everyone could finally breathe.
A simple scan down England’s scorecard may prompt an assumption about recklessness; perhaps a few muttered curse words about so-called Bazball. Although the one player who backed their eye and took the aggressive route ended up the top-scorer for either side. All told, Harry Brook’s 41 from 34 balls was a (relative) triumph in challenging circumstances.
Brook had walked out at eight for three in the fifth over and danced down the pitch to Mitchell Starc first ball for an almighty yahoo. It met fresh air, admittedly, but Brook was undeterred, crashing two fours and two sixes along the way. His eventual dismissal saw him trying to move across his stumps and clip Boland into the leg side, only to be beaten for a simple lbw.
Ridiculous as it sounds, one wonders how many runs England might have mustered had a couple more taken it on. But over the course of this tour a number have started to question themselves and the upshot was an array of gun-shy pokes. For Joe Root, this led to the longest duck of his Test career when he edged Neser behind off the 15th delivery he faced.
Neser was exceptional, probing away after a useful 35 with the bat and enjoying the lavish movement on offer; the latest example of why Australian pitches no longer demand express pace. Alex Carey once again spent time up at the stumps, penning England’s batters in their crease and, in the case of Stokes on 16, the result being an edge to Steve Smith at slip.
But Starc has been the bowler to cause England’s collective meltdown this series and he triggered the cascade of wickets here. In just his second over the left-armer turned Ben Duckett into a pretzel to send a leading edge to mid-on. Not for the first time on tour – albeit occurring during the hours of daylight on this occasion – Duckett looked slightly disorientated.
Enter Jacob Bethell, a 22-year-old without a first-class century walking out into the coliseum at No3. He lasted only five balls before Neser nicked him off, with Zak Crawley then falling in Starc’s next over when a hard handed push flew into the cordon. Both players looked down suspiciously at the surface, likewise Jamie Smith after being bowled through the gate by Boland.
Not since 1901-02 on this ground have 20-plus wickets fallen on the opening day of an Ashes Test match in Australia, albeit that was an era of uncovered pitches. England had Gus Atkinson to thank for ensuring they made it past three-figures at least, with his 28 from 35 balls, including three fours and a six, another case for attacking before the inevitable occurred.
All of which took attention away from Tongue’s earlier achievement, with his the first Test five-wicket haul for England in Melbourne since Dean Headley back in 1998. Most cherished among the wickets was Steve Smith, bowled for nine to make it four times in four first-class innings he has taken the master’s wicket. Though out of this tour, Jofra Archer may well ask him how he does it.
While in the healthier position at stumps, Australia will have a few regrets about a first innings with only three scores north of 20. As well as a couple of leg-side strangles, there was the sight of Cameron Green running himself out for 17. Brydon Carse was alert here, swooping in off his own bowling and profiting from the all-rounder’s hesitation before throwing down the stumps.
The surface may well come under scrutiny from the match referee, Jeff Crowe, but this Boxing Day feast of wickets was not without assistance.