Love feels impossible these days, right? One day you match with a potential partner on a dating apps, things go well, and then you’re ghosted; worse, when you have a dream wedding that ends up in a divorce. Everyone wants to find “the one” to fill their heart, but modern love just seems to get complex day by day. On being asked by Smita Prakash for her Podcast on ANI about how everyone today is seeking love but it’s become harder to find love, Sister Shivani said, “Spirituality teaches us not to seek love, not to find love. Go into the relationship to give love. We don’t go into a relationship to get love. You’re going into the relationship to give love.”No getting – pure giving. Elaborating how being a “giver” saves marriages, friendships, even parent-kid bonds, Sister Shivani further said, “Earlier when people used to divorce, there used to be an issue; when there’s an issue you can talk about it and there’ll be a solution. Now they just say, ‘I don’t want to live with this person. I’m not getting anything from them.’ So which means I went to get (something from the relationship). Yes, and I’m not getting, so why should I give? So we don’t have to go into a relationship to get; we have to go to give.”Talking about how being a giver can save your relationships, she said, “If even one out of the two people in a relationship is a giver, the relationship will heal. But if both seek something from the other, without giving then the relationship won’t work.”Imagine this: Is your spouse stressed and do they snap? But, instead of clapping back, offer them tea or simply a hug and watch their walls crumble. Givers heal relationships – and science too backs the “generosity cycles”! As Sister Shivani says that one giver in a relationship inspires the other naturally. So, when you give love first, your partner mirrors your generosity and your conflict dissolves. And so, your healing cycle begins.
It’s not gender – It’s soul powerShattering stereotypes and emphasising how anyone can be a giver in a relationship, Sister Shivani further said, “So in every house, if everyone is like this, then there’s only conflict. If one is a giver, you’ll make the other person also a giver because you’ll strengthen them… it’s not about man or woman. It’s about a soul. Sometimes children are giving to the parents. Parents are depleted, children are more empowered. Because their souls, on a past journey, they’ve got those sanskaras with them. We have children who bring their parents to the Meditation Center.“Any soul can play that part. So go into the relationship to give love,” she added.So, try this tonight: Audit your relationships and notice what are you unhappy about? Now, instead of complaining, flip to giving. Is your marriage strained? Volunteer to help, support and love your partner first. Did your friend ghost you? Reach out to them warmly. Be a giver in your relationships and see how it transforms your bonds.
