Australia 152 (Neser 35, Tongue 5-45, Atkinson 2-28) and 4 for 0 lead England 110 (Brook 41, Neser 4-45, Boland 3-30) by 46 runs
A ground record crowd of 94,119, surpassing the 2015 World Cup final for the biggest attendance, saw an astonishing 20 wickets fall – the most on an opening day at an Ashes MCG Test since 1901-02.
Reminiscent of the first Test in Perth, the match is moving at warp speed on a surface that is set to attract scrutiny. With 10mm of grass left on the pitch by curator Matt Page, the wickedly seaming conditions made batting extremely difficult with Usman Khawaja the only batter to face more than 50 deliveries. No England batter faced more than 40 balls with only three making more than five runs.
To cap a whirlwind day, Australia had to face one over before the close with Boland opening alongside Travis Head in place of Jake Weatherald. He faced the entire over, but only just survived after Jacob Bethell dropped a tough chance at fifth slip before he hit a boundary to bring the curtain down on a dramatic day.
But his mood soured quickly with 27 of Australia’s 72 runs in the session scored in the first six overs. Brydon Carse was the culprit with his forgettable opening spell starting off with a front-foot no-ball. Things did not improve with Carse wasting the new ball and conceding three boundaries in the fifth over.
England were in danger of wilting early before Gus Atkinson was rewarded for tight lengths when he had Head dragging onto his stumps in a similar dismissal to the backend of the second Test.
It was a tonic for Atkinson, who had been dropped for the third Test after a luckless start to the series – a selection decision that had raised the eyebrows of the Australia camp.
Atkinson received strong support from Tongue, who had a simple game plan that perhaps England’s quicks should have implemented earlier in the series – pitch the ball full outside off stump. His eight-over spell yielded 3 for 24 to put England well on top at lunch.
Tongue had initial good fortune when he had Weatherald strangled down the leg side. It continued a strange run of dismissals to start the Test career of Weatherald, who has not quite bedded down his spot despite a fluent 72 in Brisbane.
Tongue then removed Marnus Labuschagne and skipper Steven Smith, back in the side after being unwell to play the third Test, with top-shelf full-length deliveries. Labuschagne’s long Test century drought continued after edging a drive to first slip before Smith’s middle stump was knocked over having loosely attempted a booming drive.
It continued Tongue’s mastery over Smith across formats, having dismissed him in every innings from five games. Retaining his spot in the middle-order in favour of Josh Inglis, Khawaja and the in-form Alex Carey managed to get through to lunch in a session Stokes only deployed his three pace bowlers.
Stokes came into the attack after the interval as the ground suddenly became bathed in sunshine to suggest that batting might become slightly easier in the afternoon. Khawaja carried over his form from Adelaide and rolled past 8000 career Test runs before nicking off to Atkinson in an overturned decision – the latest example of him being troubled by quicks bowling around the wicket.
Carey has been a thorn for England through the series, but Stokes had him hitting straight to leg gully in a well-executed plan. Neser then dominated a 52-run partnership with Cameron Green, who entered under pressure having been demoted down the order after clinging onto his spot in the XI.
Green was mostly content with hanging in there, but Neser decided to counterattack and it was a plan that worked well as he clubbed Tongue for three consecutive boundaries in a rare period of batter dominance.
But Australia collapsed after Green ran himself out on 17, following a direct throw from a swift-moving Carse, who was perhaps fortunate to later dismiss Mitchell Starc after seemingly overstepping.
England were buoyed as they walked off the field but knew the job was not nearly done given the surface, Australia’s vaunted pace attack and also their own batting frailties.
Ben Duckett and Zak Crawley got through the first couple of overs unscathed before the mayhem started. Capping off a horror week amid the fallout from Noosa, Duckett gifted Starc another early wicket after tamely hitting straight to mid-on.
Recalled into the side – playing his fourth career Test match but first without the pink ball – Neser’s seam-bowling prowess saw him open the bowling to devastating effect.
He was all over Root and Bethell, who both were reduced to being lame ducks by the ball darting off the surface. Bethell’s much-hyped inclusion, finally replacing maligned No. 3 Ollie Pope, failed to materialise as he nicked off for 1 before Root also succumbed to Neser in similar fashion.
In the midst of all that, Starc added to his extraordinary series after Crawley edged to Smith at second slip before Brook for an hour had the fans in the palm of his hands.
There was drama on almost every delivery he faced, starting off from the very first ball when Brook charged Starc only to fail to connect. That did not deter him and he doubled down on the tactic in an effort to knock the bowlers off their lengths.
England finally had a batter in double-figures when Brook charged down the pitch and snicked Neser past Green’s outstretched arms at gully. He best stroke was a bludgeoning blow for six off Starc over extra cover and he also pulled Boland into the crowd.
But Boland got his revenge when he had Brook trapped plumb lbw to trigger another collapse. It was a field day for Australia’s quicks except for Jhye Richardson, who went wickletless from just four overs in his return to Test cricket since his last match in the 2021-22 Ashes series.
Atkinson added some invaluable runs to ensure England at least reached triple-figures, a landmark that was enthusiastically celebrated by the Barmy Army. But it was little solace for the embattled tourists who are again on the back foot in a match that might not last longer than two days.
Tristan Lavalette is a journalist based in Perth