Toxic dating trend: What is ‘future faking’ in relationships– 8 signs to spot it early on |

Modern dating is not only tough but also complex– one minute you’re vibing with your new potential-partner over coffee, the next they’re painting pictures of your dream wedding, a cozy home, and children’s names. It seems you have found the love of your life and everything seems too good to be true. But, that’s exactly where most people go wrong. Why? Because that’s often future faking – big talk about “being together forever” with zero intention of showing up. Modern singles crave commitment amid being tired of finding the right one on dating apps or being ghosted often, so these promises hit hard. But when their potential partner’s actions don’t match the words, it leads to confusion and feelings of low self-esteem. You’re left wondering, “Did I imagine that closeness?” But, you didn’t! Let’s unpack this sneaky dating trend that’s leading to heartbreaks:What exactly is ‘Future Faking’?Future faking is a manipulative hype often created by a potential partner about a shared future that never happens. They talk about marriage, trips, cohabitation like a bait, just to hook your hope without actually planning to deliver. But why would someone do this? Simply put: it is their way to manipulate you emotionally so that you feel attached to them while tolerating their red flags hoping that they would deliver their promises. You invest your emotions in them, and they control you in return – just by talking sweet to you, without any actual action.Future faking = Emotional abusePicture this: You’re in a rocky relationship, but they make empty promises of moving-in together or getting married next year. But in reality your fights continue, they fake, and nothing changes in your relationship. That’s a classic case of abuse control in relationships. This helps them by:1. Keeping you invested to unhealthy dynamics.2. Dodges accountability: “Just wait for our future!” distracts from today’s toxicity.3. Pacifies rebellion as you plan to break up with them otherwise.Result? You question your sanity, not their lies. Victims stay longer, endure more pain in such relationships which feels like emotional imprisonment.Future faking as a form of NarcissismNarcissists love this play of future faking. They crave constant attention and control, which they get by future faking their partner. Here’s how most narcissists behave in a relationship:1. In the very first week of dating you, they’ll start love bombing you by giving you excessive attention too fast, too soon. This is done just to make you addicted to the new relationship with them.2. Once you’re are hooked, they start manipulating you by future faking to keep you emotionally invested in the relationship.3. When reality hits and you confront them they’ll often put the blame on you by saying something on the lines of “You’re too negative!”. This emotional manipulation is used to trick you back into the relationship.Why it works: Narcissists dodge criticism to maintain power. And when you challenge their bad behaviour, they use the future faking bait to pull you back: “I’ll change after we marry!” That’s pure deflection one shouldn’t miss seeing!However, one needs to know that future faking isn’t always due to Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Anyone manipulative uses it for avoidance, due to their emotional immaturity, or selfishness. But narcissists? They are known for their pro-level execution.Why it’s so hard to leave such toxic relationships (And how to break free)Future faking preys on hope addiction. Your brain chases dopamine hits from those early highs. If you see this happening to you and wish to break free from such a relationship, then your can follow some of the following steps:1. Demand receipts: Example, “Cool, let’s book that trip deposit.”2. Time test: If you see atleast 3+ months of consistent action from your new partner, then consider them a green flag!3. Listen to your friend’s advise: Sometimes outsiders spot fakes faster.Remember, healthy love is when real partners build a relationship together– slowly and steadily, not rush into commitment.How to spot it early on in a relationship: 8 signs to watch out forIf you are in a new relationship, then here we list some signs of future faking one shouldn’t miss as shared by Bruce Y. Lee, M.D., M.B.A., in an article for Psychology Today:“1. How realistic are their future visions? Can you see the visions being achieved without help from the Ant-Man and the Quantum Realm? What concrete evidence is there that they can deliver on their promises?2. How do they react when you question their future vision? Do they come back with some Silicon Valley mumbo jumbo like “You’ve got to aim high” or “If you believe it, it will happen?” Or do they counter by claiming that you are being too pessimistic or a party-pooper when they are the ones full of poop?3. What specifically are they doing to make this future a reality? Are they themselves truly investing in the future or are they just resting, waiting for you to do everything?4. How many of their promises have they fulfilled to date? Have your interactions felt fulfilling or full of you-know-what?5. Do they apologize, take responsibility, feel remorse, and make amends when they fail to fulfill commitments? Or do they blame others, such as you?6. Do you feel rushed or pressured? Do you feel like they are giving you the hard sell? If so, it’s time to take a hard look of what they are trying to do.7. What are their motivations? Do they actually care about you or is it all about them?8. What does your intuition say? Listen to your body. Do you really feel confident that all of this is going to become true?,” Bruce writes.The way they answer these questions will reveal the truth to you about your relationship.Remember, you’re not alone and it’s okay to break free from a toxic relationship with no future, than being in one and feeling miserable forever.Been there? Share your escape story below – and help others break free!